How many times, in a single routine day, do you feel like giving up? No, not in the drastic sense of ending it all, but that quiet, nagging thought that maybe it’s time to stop—to pause the relentless march through the obligations, the routines, and the expectations you’ve been carrying on your shoulders for far too long. It’s that feeling where you silently ask yourself, “Why am I still doing this?” The question lurks beneath the surface of daily life, waiting for a moment of stillness to rise to the forefront of your mind.
Each morning, we wake with our own intentions, our own thoughts, our own goals. We plan our day as if we’re the authors of our destiny. We tell ourselves we will conquer something today, achieve a milestone, or make progress toward a long-term goal. We envision the best version of ourselves as we prepare for the day ahead. But then comes reality. Life has a way of reminding us, often harshly, that what we planned is not as simple as we imagined. Fate, with all its unpredictability, strikes at our core. That sudden realization that the road to success—whether in work, relationships, or personal fulfillment—is much steeper than we anticipated hits us like a punch to the gut.
If getting through just one day is this challenging, how are we supposed to navigate the complexities of life? Think about it—life is full of dreams we wish to pursue, expectations placed upon us by society, family, and friends. We carry the weight of our own aspirations, as well as the pressures to achieve financial stability, maintain relationships, build a family, buy a home, and somehow find happiness in the midst of it all. It’s overwhelming.
And this is when exhaustion sets in. This is when the urge to quit grows stronger. We feel tempted to let go of the dreams and ambitions we once held dear. Slowly but surely, we surrender ourselves to the daily grind, becoming entangled in stress, frustrations, and the endless cycle of unmet expectations. In the process, we lose sight of who we truly are. We let go of our spark.
I know this feeling all too well. In fact, today, I decided to give up—but not in the way you might expect. No, I’m not giving up on life or my goals. I’ve chosen to give up something entirely different: the endless pursuit of external validation. I’ve decided to stop trying to prove myself to others. I am done with the need to demonstrate my worth to those who can’t see it or appreciate it. I no longer feel the need to explain my intentions or go out of my way to prove that I am good enough. I no longer seek approval from people who don’t understand the efforts I make every single day.
Today, I choose me. I choose to stop seeking external validation and start prioritizing myself. And let me tell you, this is one of the hardest decisions a person can make. It’s a decision that feels so foreign because we’ve been conditioned to believe that caring for ourselves is selfish. But that’s not the case at all. Prioritizing yourself is not selfish—it’s necessary. It’s about choosing not to neglect your own needs in favor of pleasing others.
This doesn’t mean I don’t love the people in my life. I love them deeply. But it means I love myself enough to stop sacrificing my well-being for the sake of others’ opinions. It means I am no longer willing to compromise my happiness just to meet someone else’s expectations.
If I’m being utterly honest, this journey is going to be difficult. Why? Because the decision to prioritize yourself goes against everything we’ve been taught. Society tells us to be selfless, to give, and to care for others—sometimes at the expense of our own well-being. Choosing to put yourself first feels unnatural at first, and that’s what makes it so challenging.
What this shift requires is quiet endurance. I have to learn to listen to what others say, but in a new way. I have to filter their words carefully, letting go of the disrespectful or toxic remarks, while absorbing only the constructive feedback that helps me grow. This filtering process is crucial because, ultimately, I need to focus on what truly matters—what brings me peace and joy—not what pleases others.
But why is it so hard to let go of the toxic parts of our lives? It’s because we’ve become accustomed to carrying the weight of others’ expectations. We’ve grown comfortable with the discomfort. The idea of letting go feels more terrifying than continuing to endure. It’s as if we’ve convinced ourselves that we don’t deserve to be free from these burdens, and that is perhaps the most tragic part of all.
We’ve developed thick skin to survive the criticism, the judgment, and the negativity that life throws our way. We’ve learned to tolerate mistreatment, convincing ourselves that we somehow deserve it. It’s a heartbreaking reality—that we’ve accepted a version of ourselves that is diminished, less than, and unworthy of true happiness. But the truth is, we are more than capable of rising above it.
Just recently, I had the chance to reconnect with a couple of my cousins. They were visiting for a short stay, and during our time together, we had a heartfelt conversation about life and our shared experiences. These women, my cousins, have lived most of their lives as free spirits. They’ve always had the courage to live life on their own terms. When life threw challenges their way, they didn’t back down—they fought with everything they had and came out stronger on the other side. Their laughter was pure and contagious, their smiles genuine. There was nothing forced, nothing held back. It made me realize how much I longed for that kind of freedom in my own life.
As I watched them, I couldn’t help but feel a mix of emotions. I was proud of them for having the courage to live authentically, but I also felt a twinge of envy. Why don’t I have that same courage? Why haven’t I been able to live as boldly as they have? But one thing was clear—I want that kind of life. I want to laugh without restraint, to smile without fear. I want to live freely and unapologetically.
This realization only strengthened my resolve to let go. How much longer will I carry the weight of others’ expectations? How much longer will I compromise my essence to please those who don’t truly understand me? I refuse to let this continue. I am shedding the unnecessary burdens, leaving behind the toxic parts of my life, and moving forward with renewed purpose.
Because, my friend, we only have one life—one precious human life. And it’s our responsibility to make it meaningful, to live it fully, and to do so on our terms. The choice to prioritize yourself is not selfish—it’s essential. We are the architects of our own lives, and it’s time we started building something that reflects our true selves.
